Objects of Contemplation 8/22/22

i’m an over thinker trying to find meaning in everything 

it consumes me analyzing every movement i make and how it will affect me somehow 

constantly thinking interrupts my flow and i skid a little

was this a sign telling me that’s a bad thought?

distractions of regret and want do not aid me, when i dwell i slip

i want to make the best of myself and that causes parinoia in other areas. 

i’m parinoid about my parinoia because what if it isn’t parinoia but a sign.

so i search for meaning in every little thing like the lose threads in my shirt are an object of contemplation

i could fix it now while the problem is minor and it would make me a more urgent person but it’s just a shirt i doubt it will fall apart but am i making a mistake by not moving with urgency 

are the lose threads in my shirt an objective problem or something deeper reflecting my state of mind 

my uncaringness to let things fall apart when i could have prevented it 

my roughness and how i carry myself extending to all aspects of my presence 

will what i chose to do with this thread begin to change the habits of my life or is it just a lose thread, meaningless and minor 

a flow of thought and i see numbers

am i seeing the numbers or are the numbers seeing me 

i heard if you ignore the signs they stop appearing and you miss your window 

so i would give up the signs for peace of mind but i believe they’re telling me something and i should listen